It's March 24. A month ago, I underwent surgery for breast cancer, a lumpectomy. I'm still not completely believing that I have cancer. It's surreal when someone tells you that. Eleven years ago, one of my sisters had breast cancer, and I know your chances increase when that happens, but I still never thought it would. Of course, there have been times when I'm amazed that I made it to this age (62!) because some of my younger behavior could have put me at risk for living this long, but that's in the past and we won't get into any of that! And I try to stay healthy and exercise and eat well (but too much, the scale doesn't lie!) and get lots of fresh air, blah blah blah. I look so much like my mother that I kind of thought I have her genes and not my dad's (he died of massive heart attack at age 61; she lived to 86). I guess that kind of gave me a pass - in my mind - on getting any major illness. Whoa, was I wrong!!! It brings you up short, I guess that's the best way to describe it. It turns everything around and upside down and you really have to make sense of this new reality, which makes no sense at all. And yet it does make sense, from a scientific viewpoint - once Joan had cancer, my chances increased. I felt badly telling my other sisters, because now they have TWO sisters who've had it. And my kids, who have a half-sister who's had cancer twice, and now their mom. So everyone has to be aware, and make their doctors aware. I'm not sure it will help, but I hope so.
In the meantime, my personality is pretty upbeat - I'm definitely an optimist, no doubt about it. I can be optimistic in the face of the most challenging news. And my optimism comes through here as well, although there are definitely days when I could just cover my head and cry myself to sleep at night. But then in the morning, I'm ready to face it again. And in terms of cancer, I have it pretty easy, I'd have to say. It was very early stage - no lumps or bumps to feel, it showed up in my yearly mamm. So far, it's looking like I could get away with a lumpectomy and then radiation, but there is a glitch that the doctors are monitoring. My optimism says not to worry, it's something I have to get through. And you know that tired old saying: what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger? It sounds a little morbid in this sense, but I think it still holds true. I'll come out of this stronger yet. That's my plan!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Monday, March 21, 2011
Dancing with the Stars
We just finished our last lesson in dance classes last evening, and I went into this thinking that the waltz was a pretty simple dance. I was wrong! There are all kinds of things to learn and remember and "execute", but I think we did more in the realm of "execution" - we murdered this poor dance. Maybe if we practice a lot, it'll come more naturally to us. And it's a good lesson in learning how to work together, not get frustrated with each other, or lose our patience. I think it'll have a positive impact on our relationship, as well as being fun. But for some couples, it might not be a good idea (picture Archie Bunker and Edith!)
On occasion, we were managing to dance though, and it was fun. Fun to (sort of) glide across the floor and look into each other's eyes and smile because - for one brief moment - we had it! Now when I watch DWTS, I'll really appreciate the time and effort and amazing outcomes of their work. Like so many things in life, it's so much easier to be on the sidelines, criticizing, until you get in the game and find out how difficult it really is.
Those life lessons are just about everywhere, aren't they!
On occasion, we were managing to dance though, and it was fun. Fun to (sort of) glide across the floor and look into each other's eyes and smile because - for one brief moment - we had it! Now when I watch DWTS, I'll really appreciate the time and effort and amazing outcomes of their work. Like so many things in life, it's so much easier to be on the sidelines, criticizing, until you get in the game and find out how difficult it really is.
Those life lessons are just about everywhere, aren't they!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Stinginess of spirit
I was reading a novel recently, and this phrase was used to describe someone, and it struck me, as I've known people to whom this description refers. Haven't we all, in our lives, come across someone whose "stinginess of spirit" affected those around them, but we've never known exactly how to describe it. Or how to handle it. Or why some people are that way. Are they born like that? Or do they start out sweet and then turn sour somehow, something just sends their lives spinning in a different direction? I don't know, but I do know this...I'm at a point in my life where I have no room for people like that. And a point in my life where I can pretty much just write them out of my sphere. Maybe I'm just at a point where I am stronger and more capable of cutting such people out of my life; maybe I could have done that years ago but was just too polite to do so. No more Ms. Nice Guy here! All you stingy people, out of my life for good!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
It’s always difficult to start writing anything - or at least I have found it be so. The best place to start is the beginning, but that would mean going WAY back, so instead I offer a quick synopsis of who I am:
A teen-ager in the infamous sixties, I was called all kinds of things: flower child, hippie, radical, a bum (not everyone appreciated hippies!), just to name a few. But ah, youth must of course move on, so eventually I settled down. I was a bit later than most, but I had all those wild oats to sow! I lived in NYC for 10 years, then moved back to my hometown. So at age 28 I married, and at age 31 had my first child, and at nearly 40, my second child. Conformist was never a comfortable tag for me. I blame that on my parents - who brought six daughters into the world and then raised us to be independent people, helpful to our community, and honest to a fault. Obviously, I use the word “blame” jokingly, I really mean it as a compliment to them. They never told us “you can’t do that because you’re a girl” - imagine how that would go over in a family of 6 girls? So, here I am, again a child of the sixties (but I’m talking age now!) and still a little bit of a rebel but not so much that I’m outside societal boundaries.
My interests? Hmm, eclectic would be a good word, but it’s so overused these days. I’m a conservationist (dubbed “raging environmentalist” by my son many many years ago; he meant it fondly, I think); a community volunteer (once upon a time, I was a community activist - really! I got paid and everything to be one - but that’s a story for another day); I’m a damn good mother - I had a great role model in that department; I’m an amateur artist, in many mediums - watercolor, writing, yarn art, fabric; I’m a huge foodie!; I love the outdoors, swimming and hiking and just riding through the countryside. I’d like to see my hometown come alive again, and I think that’s becoming more and more of a reality. I see lots of young people in the area who are now promoting their town, not besmirching it as past generations have done. And that’s where the life of an area comes from, its young people. So maybe I can contribute a bit with the writings in this blog, while just rambling on about my thoughts and opinions on things in general. If people like what I write, they’ll read it; if they don’t, they won’t. I’m not sure what direction this will take but, as with many things in life, I think I’ll let it take its own path. So, here we go. And I’ll call it: Thoughts of the World.
A teen-ager in the infamous sixties, I was called all kinds of things: flower child, hippie, radical, a bum (not everyone appreciated hippies!), just to name a few. But ah, youth must of course move on, so eventually I settled down. I was a bit later than most, but I had all those wild oats to sow! I lived in NYC for 10 years, then moved back to my hometown. So at age 28 I married, and at age 31 had my first child, and at nearly 40, my second child. Conformist was never a comfortable tag for me. I blame that on my parents - who brought six daughters into the world and then raised us to be independent people, helpful to our community, and honest to a fault. Obviously, I use the word “blame” jokingly, I really mean it as a compliment to them. They never told us “you can’t do that because you’re a girl” - imagine how that would go over in a family of 6 girls? So, here I am, again a child of the sixties (but I’m talking age now!) and still a little bit of a rebel but not so much that I’m outside societal boundaries.
My interests? Hmm, eclectic would be a good word, but it’s so overused these days. I’m a conservationist (dubbed “raging environmentalist” by my son many many years ago; he meant it fondly, I think); a community volunteer (once upon a time, I was a community activist - really! I got paid and everything to be one - but that’s a story for another day); I’m a damn good mother - I had a great role model in that department; I’m an amateur artist, in many mediums - watercolor, writing, yarn art, fabric; I’m a huge foodie!; I love the outdoors, swimming and hiking and just riding through the countryside. I’d like to see my hometown come alive again, and I think that’s becoming more and more of a reality. I see lots of young people in the area who are now promoting their town, not besmirching it as past generations have done. And that’s where the life of an area comes from, its young people. So maybe I can contribute a bit with the writings in this blog, while just rambling on about my thoughts and opinions on things in general. If people like what I write, they’ll read it; if they don’t, they won’t. I’m not sure what direction this will take but, as with many things in life, I think I’ll let it take its own path. So, here we go. And I’ll call it: Thoughts of the World.
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